Attitude is generally the way you feel about things, people and especially events that happen to and around you. To understand attitude lets take this scenario.
I am going to ask you to something very weird right now. First of all, I want you to listen to your thoughts. Now tell me, what thoughts fill your head? Would you label them as positive, or negative?
Now let's say you are walking down the street with these thoughts. Do you think anyone who would meet you would be able to tell you what’s on your mind?
The answer to number one is up to you. But, the answer number two can be pretty generic. Although people will not be able to tell you exactly what you think, they will more or less have an idea of how you are feeling.
Here's another question. When you enter a party filled with friends, do they all fall silent as if something terrible had happened? Or does everybody there perk up as if waiting for something exciting to happen?
You know what? The answer to all these depends on your frame of mind.
Thoughts are very powerful. They affect your general attitude. The attitude you carry reflects on your appearance, too – unless, of course, you are a great actor.
And it doesn't end there. Your attitude can also affect people around you.
The type of attitude you carry depends on you. It can be either positive or negative.
Positive thoughts have a fulfilling effect. They are admittedly invigorating. Plus, the people around the person carrying positive thoughts are usually energized by this type of attitude.
Negative thoughts on the other hand have a sapping effect on other people. Aside from making you look gloomy and sad, negative thoughts can turn a festive gathering into a funeral wake.
A positive attitude attracts people, while a negative attitude repels them. People tend to shy away from those who carry a negative attitude.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
The Meaning of Life, To Be Happy and A Heist of Who You Are and 4 Ways to Protect Yourself
Carl came to my office with a broken heart, empty of meaning and happiness. His lover had just walked out of his life. He said, "Dr Bob, I feel like someone stuck a sharp knife in my guts and I have leaked out."
It turned out that Carl had been done over as his former lover simply, out of the blue, began to ignore him. They were co-workers and saw each other every day. And if she could not ignore him, she surely made remarks in front of other people that crushed Carl's emotional state. In other words, she did everything in her power to see that Carl had his happiness and meaning ripped away from him. He was a victim of self-identity-theft.
We usually think of identity theft as when someone else takes over your identity in order to steal using your name and vital statics. This is, of course, maddening and frustrating and extremely involved. But I am suggesting a different view of identity theft. The heist of who you are. In childhood we might see this as when care givers, whether parents or older siblings, demean a small child and the child never gets to discover how wonderful she or he really is as they grow up. Often this means an inferiority complex that hampers adulthood. In effect this is theft of their Self-identity.
There are more potential thieves. There are folks who intentionally snub others because of their supposed social position. There are those who deliberately intimidate others for their own sadistic needs. Even some who use character assassination as their weapon of choice.
When any of these are happening to you, it is more difficult to maintain a steady center of happiness and meaning. Why? Because your very right to be happy and find meaning is called into question by these tactics.
To maintain your solid center of happiness and meaning, you need to cultivate a place within yourself that produces such things as self-encouragement, self-regard, self-fulfillment self-contentment.
You need an identity that is un-destroyable. You need to build for yourself an identity that no one and no event can ruin.
You need a personality that contains self-knowledge, encouragement, self-respect and self-contentment.
Carl and I looked at these four individually and collectively.
You need, first, to understand who you are. By this I mean much more than your name. You need a sense of meaning in and for your life. "You are a child of the Universe." However else you may or may not think of God, you are a child, a direct descendant, of the vastness, beauty and power of the Universe. You, yes, you are needed by the Universe so that It experiences all it can. You are a special agent of the Cosmos. No one can experience anything just like you do.
This was a singular revelation for Carl. He had never thought of himself with that much meaning in his life. I would say, now remembering the scene, that Carl's face changed in his moment of realization about his place in the Creation.
A great time to move on to the second item in identity Self-defense. Carl opened himself to his connection with the Universe. From acknowledgment he knew he must love and respect himself. That love respect did not dependent upon how anyone else saw him. Or what anyone else thought of him.
Many will say that this is conceit. A healthy esteem and a deep affection for one's self is quite important. Conceit is excessive self regard; that is, a feeling about yourself that is does not match the facts in any way. Self-esteem, however, is like saying to your Self, "I am needed by the Universe." You construct this by prompting yourself often that you are a progeny of the Cosmos. That you experience on behalf of the Cosmos.
Then, third, Carl needed to fulfill his own meaning and happiness. In other words, you need to do something in the physical world to show, to yourself, for yourself, what you know is true about you, that you are a child of the Universe. You need to beam who you are into the world by being of help, encouragement, inspiration to others. Notwithstanding what others may think.
By this time Carl had captured the idea. He knew who he was, he could have self-respect, and he needed to fulfill himself by being of aid to others. At this point, then, I introduced the fourth component of Carl's revised outlook on his life.
Contentment is the fourth component, specifically Self-contentment. All of us need to be able to look at ourselves in any particular single moment and be contented in that moment. This is living in the moment. Your history may be rough. You may eagerly look to the future to improve. But you must, must look at this moment and see yourself as complete. You have done your very best to get "here." You will strive tomorrow to get further. But your moment is this one. You are perfect "now."
When you wish to have a safe identity with all the happiness and life meaning that contains, (1) develop self-identity apart from others. Foster (2) self-respect within yourself. Fulfill (3) yourself and your identity by improving the condition of others. Content (4) yourself in this moment.
I invite you to claim your Free Instant Access to Dr. Bob's Resources and a monthly newsletter: "The Force-Source-Resource." You will find more about yourself and the meaning of your life. Just Click Here. Remember, one bit of information can give save you a lifetime of satisfaction.
Sometimes called the "Maven of Meaning" and the "harbinger of Happiness"
My blog is http://themeaningoflifewithdrbob.com/blog
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr._Robert_Henry_Schwenk
It turned out that Carl had been done over as his former lover simply, out of the blue, began to ignore him. They were co-workers and saw each other every day. And if she could not ignore him, she surely made remarks in front of other people that crushed Carl's emotional state. In other words, she did everything in her power to see that Carl had his happiness and meaning ripped away from him. He was a victim of self-identity-theft.
We usually think of identity theft as when someone else takes over your identity in order to steal using your name and vital statics. This is, of course, maddening and frustrating and extremely involved. But I am suggesting a different view of identity theft. The heist of who you are. In childhood we might see this as when care givers, whether parents or older siblings, demean a small child and the child never gets to discover how wonderful she or he really is as they grow up. Often this means an inferiority complex that hampers adulthood. In effect this is theft of their Self-identity.
There are more potential thieves. There are folks who intentionally snub others because of their supposed social position. There are those who deliberately intimidate others for their own sadistic needs. Even some who use character assassination as their weapon of choice.
When any of these are happening to you, it is more difficult to maintain a steady center of happiness and meaning. Why? Because your very right to be happy and find meaning is called into question by these tactics.
To maintain your solid center of happiness and meaning, you need to cultivate a place within yourself that produces such things as self-encouragement, self-regard, self-fulfillment self-contentment.
You need an identity that is un-destroyable. You need to build for yourself an identity that no one and no event can ruin.
You need a personality that contains self-knowledge, encouragement, self-respect and self-contentment.
Carl and I looked at these four individually and collectively.
You need, first, to understand who you are. By this I mean much more than your name. You need a sense of meaning in and for your life. "You are a child of the Universe." However else you may or may not think of God, you are a child, a direct descendant, of the vastness, beauty and power of the Universe. You, yes, you are needed by the Universe so that It experiences all it can. You are a special agent of the Cosmos. No one can experience anything just like you do.
This was a singular revelation for Carl. He had never thought of himself with that much meaning in his life. I would say, now remembering the scene, that Carl's face changed in his moment of realization about his place in the Creation.
A great time to move on to the second item in identity Self-defense. Carl opened himself to his connection with the Universe. From acknowledgment he knew he must love and respect himself. That love respect did not dependent upon how anyone else saw him. Or what anyone else thought of him.
Many will say that this is conceit. A healthy esteem and a deep affection for one's self is quite important. Conceit is excessive self regard; that is, a feeling about yourself that is does not match the facts in any way. Self-esteem, however, is like saying to your Self, "I am needed by the Universe." You construct this by prompting yourself often that you are a progeny of the Cosmos. That you experience on behalf of the Cosmos.
Then, third, Carl needed to fulfill his own meaning and happiness. In other words, you need to do something in the physical world to show, to yourself, for yourself, what you know is true about you, that you are a child of the Universe. You need to beam who you are into the world by being of help, encouragement, inspiration to others. Notwithstanding what others may think.
By this time Carl had captured the idea. He knew who he was, he could have self-respect, and he needed to fulfill himself by being of aid to others. At this point, then, I introduced the fourth component of Carl's revised outlook on his life.
Contentment is the fourth component, specifically Self-contentment. All of us need to be able to look at ourselves in any particular single moment and be contented in that moment. This is living in the moment. Your history may be rough. You may eagerly look to the future to improve. But you must, must look at this moment and see yourself as complete. You have done your very best to get "here." You will strive tomorrow to get further. But your moment is this one. You are perfect "now."
When you wish to have a safe identity with all the happiness and life meaning that contains, (1) develop self-identity apart from others. Foster (2) self-respect within yourself. Fulfill (3) yourself and your identity by improving the condition of others. Content (4) yourself in this moment.
I invite you to claim your Free Instant Access to Dr. Bob's Resources and a monthly newsletter: "The Force-Source-Resource." You will find more about yourself and the meaning of your life. Just Click Here. Remember, one bit of information can give save you a lifetime of satisfaction.
Sometimes called the "Maven of Meaning" and the "harbinger of Happiness"
My blog is http://themeaningoflifewithdrbob.com/blog
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr._Robert_Henry_Schwenk
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